Archive for March 2012
Diana Ross
Today’s birthday girl is Diana Ross.
Diana Ross’ career trajectory seems rather typical for someone born under her sun sign. As a member of the Supremes, she enjoyed a tremendous amount of success. But it wasn’t long before the group became Diana Ross and the Supremes. Not long after that, it was just Diana Ross. Then it was Diana Ross, the actress.
I suppose now it’s just Diana Ross, the show business legend. Of course, she deserves all the hype, but there were a lot of people who helped her to get where she is today. Nevertheless, it’s completely in character for an Aries native to put themselves front and center while they take star-billing for the collaborative ventures that made them a star in the first place.
Aretha Franklin
The birthday girl for March 25 is Aretha Franklin.
Aries divas are a-dime-a-dozen. There’s Elton John, Céline Dion, Diana Ross, Mariah Carey, Lady Gaga, etc. But of all the Aries divas, no one else lives up to the stereotype quite like Aretha Franklin. Despite being the one person on the list I just provided who has sold the fewest records, Franklin appears to demand the most “Respect.”
It’s in character for an Aries to believe their own hype. I adore Aretha Franklin and I’ve paid for her music several times, but she isn’t in the same league commercially as many other artists born under the same sun sign. Of course, you would never know that because she’s claimed the title the “The Queen of Soul” despite the fact that she doesn’t even rank on this list of the bestselling musical acts of all time.
Again, I’m a big fan. She is responsible for some of the greatest songs in the history of popular music. Nevertheless, she represents the “demanding diva” stereotype associated with her sign in a manner that makes me respect her a little less than I should.
Star Jones
The birthday girl for March 24 is Star Jones.
Jones is one of two former hosts that abandoned the daytime TV show “The View” because they couldn’t get along with the other co-hosts. The other is Jones’ fellow Aries, Rosie O’Donnell.
I make a lot of jokes on this blog about how poorly I get along with many Aries individuals. I have a Capricorn sun, a Cancer moon and a Libra ascendant. That combination of cardinality makes me the antithesis to the typical Aries native. Not surprisingly, the head honchos at “The View” are a Libra and a Cancer: respectively, Barbara Walters and Bill Geddie.
People born under cardinal signs don’t go out of their way to dislike each other, although it can be difficult for them to find fault in themselves when things go wrong. They implicitly believe that they’re following the right path even when they’re on the wrong path. The problem with Aries natives is that they can rarely be corrected. They take offense to the notion that there might be another way besides their own. Both Jones and O’Donnell left “The View” because of their refusal to compromise when two other individuals born under equally strong-willed cardinal signs wouldn’t let them have their own way.
It’s a lesson to all of you born when the sun was in Aries. You can’t win every battle, especially when you’re outnumbered. So shut up and do your job before you no longer have a job.
Perez Hilton
The birthday boy for March 23 is Perez Hilton.
I’ve already confessed to my aversion to Aries natives several times since I began writing this blog. Something about them makes me want to yell “Shut the hell up!” every time they say anything. I would admit that it’s my fault, not theirs, if it wasn’t for the fact that so many of them never shut the hell up.
Take Perez Hilton, for example . . .
Reese Witherspoon
Today’s birthday girl is Reese Witherspoon.
I wanted to call Witherspoon her generation’s Doris Day. Curiously, the actresses share the same zodiac sign. But after thinking about the part they played in popular culture, Witherspoon really doesn’t fit that description as aptly as her fellow Aries, Sarah Jessica Parker. Parker’s “Carrie Bradshaw” is more akin to Day’s numerous roles as a sex-crazy career girl.
That leaves me wondering whom I should compare Witherspoon to. Bette Davis? Nope. Joan Crawford? Nope. Maybe I’ll get back to you on this one . . .
An Encore: Rosie O’Donnell
Here’s my blog post from last year on March 21. I thought I’d repeat it because it seems so relevant in light of recent news:
Before I even begin to discuss today’s birthday girl, Rosie O’Donnell, I need to admit something. I have a rather irrational aversion to most Aries individuals. I could write a list of my least-favorite celebrities, and at least half of them would share that zodiac sign. In fact, just last night I was watching “Celebrity Apprentice” and muttering under my breath about how much I despise both Star Jones and Richard Hatch. I bet you can guess which zodiac sign they were born under! And don’t even get me started about fashion designer Marc Jacobs. Blecch!
Anyway, back to Rosie O’Donnell. You know, I really liked her when she first began hosting her afternoon talk show. But soon she began to irritate me. The most annoying quality about the performer is her ‘my way or the highway‘ approach to absolutely everything. She’s very uncompromising, and that’s one of those innate qualities shared by most Aries individuals. In fact, if you look at the opposite sign to Aries, Libra, you see compromise, diplomacy and harmony as qualities that define that zodiac sign. It’s in O’Donnell’s nature to be belligerent.
That doesn’t excuse her for being terribly brusque, though. To me, she’s the rudest celebrity in show business. She passes herself off as a paradigm of liberal values while she engages people who often have IQ scores that double her own score. Celebrity never trumps intellect, and O’Donnell really needs to learn how to choose her battles.
I’m not a conservative by any means, but I can understand why conservatives enjoy picking on O’Donnell. She’s an easy target because she just can’t back away from an argument without attempting to get in the last word, and if you give her enough chances, she’ll eventually stick her big foot into her big mouth. And if there’s anything that defines her as an Aries, it’s that quality.
I’ll be nicer to the Aries people who read my blog after this post, I promise . . .
Kathy Ireland
The birthday girl for March 20 is Kathy Ireland.
It amazes me that Ireland is as successful as she is. When she was modeling, I didn’t find anything about her to be particularly compelling. Now that she’s a businesswoman, I don’t live to buy her products. In fact, I don’t even know what she sells or where she sells it. I do know that she got lucky when she got the right people behind her when she started her “brand,” just like the Olsen twins or Jessica Simpson.
But even luck isn’t in her chart. Ireland was born when Venus was conjunct Saturn. That is an aspect that is often considered to thwart artistic expression. Through adverse transits it’s also considered to bring bad luck to business dealings. Without an accurate birthtime, however, I can’t place the aspect within the houses to elucidate this matter. There’s nothing I can do to explain her chart.
I almost feel as if I’m going to find out that she’s been lying about the year she was born: something that happens with celebrities every now and then. Nothing else can explain how she’s become a billion-dollar corporation when no one even really knows who she is. She’s an enigma wrapped in a riddle and stuffed into a package that is glossy and nice too look at but remarkably unmemorable.
Bruce Willis
The birthday boy for March 19 is Bruce Willis.
Astrologically, I believed that Bruce Willis and Demi Moore made a terrific couple. I was shocked when they broke up. I wasn’t shocked at all when Moore broke up with Ashton Kutcher because I forecasted bad things for the Scorpio/Aquarius pair. I won’t be surprised if Willis’ relationship with Emma Heming, a Gemini, ends soon. Squares are the toughest of all bad sun sign aspects to overcome. Relationships don’t live and die on sun-sign compatibility, but they don’t thrive because of these tense aspects, either.
I guess we’ll all see if I’m going to have to eat my words in the not-too-distant future.
Vanessa L. Williams
The birthday girl for March 18 is Vanessa L. Williams.
While I was scrolling through a list of today’s celebrity birthdays, I noticed that Williams shares her birthday with another renowned multitasker: Queen Latifah.
While multitasking isn’t something I’d normally associate with the sign of Pisces (I suppose that doing a million things and doing them well would be a Virgo-like trait), I would associate the lack of a single title to describe either of these women with their zodiac sign. Sure, they could be called “performers” or “entertainers,” but even those titles don’t do them justice.
Pisces represents the undefinable. It figures that many famous people born under this sign can’t be defined by a single label.
Coco
The birthday girl for March 17 is Coco.
I have to admit that I surprised myself when I realized that I like Coco. Her reality show is hilarious because she’s one of the nicest people in show business. How could anyone hate her? She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.
Afterward, it didn’t surprise me to discover that she’s a Pisces. I generally like Pisces natives more than anyone else in the zodiac. On the surface, they don’t take themselves as seriously as a Capricorn like me, and I find that quality refreshing. I find Coco refreshing. In a world full of self-involved reality TV whores, she’s possibly the least self-involved. She’s adorable!
Cosmically Chic 
