Archive for March 2011
Céline Dion
As a fashion critic, I’m not very harsh on today’s birthday girl, Céline Dion. In fact, at this year’s Oscars I picked her as my best-dressed celebrity on the red carpet. I’ve even praised her for the audacity it took to wear the Dior pantsuit she wore to the 1999 Oscars because it was interesting, if nothing else.
Nevertheless, the songbird has migrated into rather fabulous territory over the past couple of years. She knows her body, she knows her face, and she knows what to do to make the best of what she’s got. Just look at how gorgeous she looks in the photo above for a woman who just gave birth to twins. And her hair is incredible. She could be doing Pantene commercials!
Anyway, the one thing that impresses me the most about Céline is the fact that she likes to pay for her clothes. A self-made woman with a quarter-billion dollars in her bank account shouldn’t go around begging for free gowns. That alone makes her the most ballsy celebrity in show business. And for that reason, I believe she’s an icon of Aries style. You can’t accurately represent the positive qualities of the most independent sign in the zodiac while you’re asking everyone you meet for freebies. It just doesn’t work that way.
Elle Macpherson
The birthday girl for March 29 is Elle Macpherson.
I haven’t said enough nice things about my least-favorite zodiac sign yet, so it’s time to start by discussing the fashion sense of the Aussie supermodel. Everything that Mariah Carey does wrong, Elle Macpherson does right. She knows that she’s not the most delicate flower in the vase, and she dresses accordingly. In fact, most of the time she treads into tomboy territory with great success, choosing outfits that flatter her strapping, athletic figure.
That sort of girl isn’t going to appeal to everyone, but she will find her audience; Macpherson’s bank account is proof of that. And if one Aries girl can get away with being the poster girl for Amazon-style, perhaps her fellow Aries natives should follow suit.
Lady Gaga
Today’s birthday girl is pop sensation Lady Gaga.
Now I can explain everything about Lady Gaga’s fashion sense in a few short words simply by saying “She’s an Aries.” She relies almost entirely on shock value to sell her looks, yet she possesses an underlying passion for fashion that might make me like what she does when her styling becomes a little more mature. Right now, however, I look at her the same that I would look at the daughter of a billionaire with something to prove and too much time on her hands. I can see right through her schtick because I’ve seen it before.
It makes no difference to me if someone is trying to shock me in combat gear or couture. I’m a Capricorn; I was born jaded. If you really want to capture my attention, then do it with arrogance and aplomb — like Madonna, for instance. I’ll take that Leonine pride over juvenile shock tactics any day.
Mariah Carey
Like most of pop music’s divas, Mariah Carey is an Aries.
If there’s anything that the birthday girl for March 27 does wrong, it’s trying to be a little too cute and girly. Aries isn’t a cute sign. It isn’t a girly sign. Take this photo of Mariah in a man-tailored shirt, for example. She looks gorgeous, yet every inch a woman. Compare this to almost every other photo of the singer and you’ll see what I mean. Looking through her photo archive on Google Images is like gazing at the dessert case at the Cheesecake Factory after you’ve had one-too-many cocktails. It might look good at first glance, but if you stare too long, your stomach starts to turn.
I adore Mariah, and I dislike criticizing her for any reason. Nevertheless, a fashion icon she ain’t. It’s too bad, too. Like her fellow Aries, Sarah Jessica Parker, she has the potential to be a style superstar if she would just admit to herself that she’s not the most delicate flower in the vase.
Keira Knightley
I don’t really like today’s birthday girl, Keira Knightley. I can’t really explain why I don’t like her because I feel as if I don’t like her instinctively.
She’s not the only Aries native who rubs me the wrong way. I have a Capricorn sun, a Cancer moon and a Libra ascendant. That combination sort of makes me into the anti-Aries: The complete opposite of that zodiac sign. I can admit as much, too. I really don’t see any Aries-like qualities in my own character. So if I appear to be a little biased as I’m discussing this sign, it’s probably because I am biased. I can’t help myself. My disdain for this sign was written in the stars.
Elton John
The birthday boy for March 25 is Elton John.
Aries rules over the eyes. For that reason, it’s interesting the the most famous eyewear in music history belongs to Elton John. Between Bette Davis and her legendary eyes and Joan Crawford and her infamous eyebrows, these three iconic Aries natives do enough to prove to me that there’s something to these physical associations between zodiac signs and body parts. Of course, I’m a Capricorn with the strong, durable knees of a mountain goat, so it’s not such a leap of faith for me.
Tommy Hilfiger
Today’s birthday boy, Tommy Hilfiger, is one of a handful of Aries designers who fit into a typically Aries design profile. Hilfiger’s all-American sportswear separates truly reflect the signature style of his zodiac sign. It’s not too girly, it’s not too fussy, and it’s often produced in a fairly limited color palette of mostly neutral shades, including red as a neutral.
Another thing that makes the line seem like an Aries line to me is the fact that so many of Hilfiger’s garments have the designer’s name emblazoned on them. Yeah, Aries natives tend to like themselves a lot. They get a kick out of seeing their names on the backs (and fronts) of others.
Ric Ocasek
I was just looking through today’s celebrity birthdays when I realized that Ric Ocasek is an Aries. It surprised me because today’s birthday boy is married to an Aries, as well. If I had to rank all 144 possible combinations of sun signs, I’d probably put Aries/Aries as the worst for a romantic relationship. To me, it defies logic that Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are still together because they share that sun-sign combo.
But Ric and his wife, the adorable Paulina Porizkova, have been together for more than twenty-five years, defying the cosmos. It just goes to show you that romantic relationships don’t live and die according to sun-sign compatability — as an experienced astrologer, I’ve known that for as long as I’ve been casting charts. Style, however, really can’t escape the influence of the sun sign. The sun is intrinsically connected to one’s sense of self-expression, and that’s what fashion is all about.
Carrie Donovan
In my book I claim that the must-have accessory for the Aries woman is a wardrobe of scene-stealing eyewear. So doesn’t it figure that today’s birthday girl, legendary fashion editor Carrie Donovan, was an Aries?
Enough said!
Rosie O’Donnell
Before I even begin to discuss today’s birthday girl, Rosie O’Donnell, I need to admit something. I have a rather irrational aversion to most Aries individuals. I could write a list of my least-favorite celebrities, and at least half of them would share that zodiac sign. In fact, just last night I was watching “Celebrity Apprentice” and muttering under my breath about how much I despise both Star Jones and Richard Hatch. I bet you can guess which zodiac sign they were born under! And don’t even get me started about fashion designer Marc Jacobs. Blecch!
Anyway, back to Rosie O’Donnell. You know, I really liked her when she first began hosting her afternoon talk show. But soon she began to irritate me. The most annoying quality about the performer is her ‘my way or the highway‘ approach to absolutely everything. She’s very uncompromising, and that’s one of those innate qualities shared by most Aries individuals. In fact, if you look at the opposite sign to Aries, Libra, you see compromise, diplomacy and harmony as qualities that define that zodiac sign. It’s in O’Donnell’s nature to be belligerent.
That doesn’t excuse her for being terribly brusque, though. To me, she’s the rudest celebrity in show business. She passes herself off as a paradigm of liberal values while she engages people who often have IQ scores that double her own score. Celebrity never trumps intellect, and O’Donnell really needs to learn how to choose her battles.
I’m not a conservative by any means, but I can understand why conservatives enjoy picking on O’Donnell. She’s an easy target because she just can’t back away from an argument without attempting to get in the last word, and if you give her enough chances, she’ll eventually stick her big foot into her big mouth. And if there’s anything that defines her as an Aries, it’s that quality.
I’ll be nicer to the Aries people who read my blog after this post, I promise . . .
Cosmically Chic 
