Archive for April 2011
Johnny Galecki
I wasn’t surprised to discover that Johnny Galecki, today’s birthday boy, is a Taurus. I like to call Taurus women the zodiac’s “girls next door,” so it should come as no surprise that the guys are the zodiac’s “boys next door.”
Galecki has made a career out of playing the role of the somewhat easygoing, non-threatening guy we all know and love. While he has played characters that have been more menacing, his greatest success has come from typecasting. He could be a big, huge jerk for all I know, but I sort of doubt it. I don’t meet a lot of Taurus natives who go out of their way to be jerks. They may go out of their way to get to a piece of pie or the prime spot on the couch in front of the TV, but that’s another story.
Eve Plumb
The birthday girl for April 29 is Eve Plumb.
I’ve never really looked into the astrological dynamics between the cast members of “The Brady Bunch” until now, but I just noticed that Eve Plumb is a Taurus and Maureen McCormick is a Leo. If I had an older sister who was a Leo, I’d probably complain about her incessantly, too.
Ann-Margret
The birthday girl for April 28 is Ann-Margret.
I have a certain “paradigm” for each zodiac sign when I’m discussing fashion and astrology. For Taurus, I’ve always used Ann-Margret in “Viva Las Vegas” as the example. However, that was before I saw “Bye Bye Birdie” for the first time a few months ago. I won’t say that I was wrong, choosing one character over the other as the finest cinematic representation of the sign’s signature look, but I will admit that I now believe that Ann-Margret is tied with herself as the greatest icon of Taurus style in the history of film.
Nigel Barker
A couple posts back I discussed the differences between “Dancing with the Stars” resident stick-in-the-mud, Len Goodman, and the show’s flamboyant Bruno Tonioli.
Today’s birthday boy is Nigel Barker of “America’s Next Top Model.” Like Goodman, Barker is a Taurus. Like Tonioli, Tyra Banks is a Sagittarius. Comparing Tyra’s kooky antics at the ANTM judging panel to Barker’s behavior reminds me a lot of the DWTS judges. I’d never really thought about it until today, but these two signs make ideal foils for each other in this context because they have absolutely nothing in common.
Now I’m curious to apply this recent revelation to other reality shows. More about that as it comes to me!
Stana Katic
The birthday girl for April 26 is Stana Katic.
Yesterday I was looking through some photos of the “Castle” star when I stumbled across a series of images of Katic with platinum blonde hair. At first they struck me as interesting, but the longer I looked at them the more I began to dislike them. Katic is a gorgeous, earthy woman. The severe blond hair made her look anything but earthy. In fact, there was a falseness to the color that I might have appreciated on someone else, but not on Katic.
I often criticize the fashion sense of decadent Taurus women who choose to appear “made up” rather than natural. I adore Cher, for instance, but when I see photos of her from the 70s looking like a native American goddess, I wonder why she dons such ridiculous wigs and over-the-top cosmetics. I feel the same way about her fellow Taurus, Janet Jackson, who gets a little less human-looking as each year passes. Viewing photos of Katic appearing somewhat “artificial” also made me feel the same way.
I don’t expect every Taurus woman to aspire to look like a Breck Girl from the 70s, but I do advise them to “keep it real.” The artifice that can make a Gemini woman look like a million bucks usually makes a Taurus woman look like a cheap fashion victim.
Len Goodman
The birthday boy for April 25 is Len Goodman.
I’m a big fan of “Dancing with the Stars.” Like most fans of the show, I never grow tired of the strange rapport between Goodman and fellow judge Bruno Tonioli. The boisterous Tonioli is a typical Sagittarius. Goodman also exemplifies many of the qualities of his zodiac sign, Taurus. One prefers showmanship and shock value over traditional judging criteria, and the other would rather see a samba that looks like a samba rather than a samba that looks like a strip show.
Both judges play up their differences brilliantly. Goodman is the traditional Taurus while Tonioli is the open-minded Sagittarius. Whether you agree with one or the other doesn’t really matter when the two of them are creating such terrific TV.
Kelly Clarkson
The birthday girl for April 24 is Kelly Clarkson.
It makes a lot of sense to me that a Taurus won the very first season of “American Idol.” There’s nothing threatening about a typical Taurus native. In fact, they’re probably the most passive individuals in the zodiac when they’re in their own element. They have an undeserved reputation for being stubborn, but I tend to describe them as defensive rather than stubborn. If they were just plain bull-headed, they probably wouldn’t find themselves in positions like the finals of “American Idol,” where likeability often trumps talent.
Kelly Clarkson is genuinely likeable. She’s the girl-next-door of pop music with crossover appeal to spare. That’s why she’s been able to sell more singles and albums than any other winner of “American Idol,” looking, sounding and acting like a Taurus all the while.
Heavens, No!
I usually don’t perform outreach missions to celebrities, but I just read that Elton John’s adopted baby was born on December 25. That makes him a Capricorn with an Aries parent, just like me. What’s worse is that he’s made Lady Gaga, another Aries, the baby’s godmother.
Now I have a genuine aversion to most Aries natives. As a steady, patient Capricorn, the Martian energy of Aries just rubs me the wrong way. Yet I can handle most Aries individuals indivdually. Once they begin to gang up, however, I withdraw from myself like an animal playing dead in the jaws of predator.
I know the odds are slim that this message will reach Elton John, but I have to say it anyway: Handle this kid with care. He’s cut from a different cloth than you. It might look as tough as burlap at first glance, but it’s a little less-durable than you think it is, especially around you and anyone else who shares your sun sign.
Halston
I don’t want to end up beating this theme into the ground, but I probably will, anyway. Taurus natives are known for their decadence. Today’s birthday boy is Roy Halston, a designer whose name has become synonymous with Studio 54 and the decadence of New York City in the 70s.
If you asked me to name another Taurus fashion designer, the first person who would pop into my head would be Donatella Versace. I’m not going to say that all Taurus designers share a similar modus operandi, but I will admit that they’re terribly susceptible to drug and alcohol abuse. They might try to tell you that they’re using substances to cope with the stress inherent in producing a namesake fashion line, but I chalk it up to one thing and one thing only: They like to indulge. It’s rarely more complex than that, and if they pretend that it is more complex, it’s only because their therapists have planted those ideas in their heads.
Marilyn Chambers
The birthday girl for April 22 is porn star Marilyn Chambers.
I’ve included Chambers in my discussion of Taurus because I often use the expression “girl next door” to describe signature Taurus style. Before she became an icon of the adult film business, Chambers most-notable foray into popular culture was when she was photographed as the doting young mother on the Ivory Snow box. Those packages were pulled from stores in 1972 when the actress appeared in “Behind the Green Door,” the first wide-release porno as the “all-American girl.”
There is something wholesome about Taurus style, and there was something wholesome about Marilyn Chambers’ appearance — otherwise she never would have seen her image selling a product that was billed as “99 and 44/100% pure.” Nevertheless, the remaining 56/100% was a decadent Taurus woman who brought hard-core pornography into the mainstream.
It just goes to show that sometimes the girl next door is sort of a slut.
Cosmically Chic 
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